Slide Mountain Oasis

🏖️ Welcome to your backyard mini-resort, minus the resort fees and with tons of free amenities. Our place has everything you need for a splashin’ good time (and maybe a mild sunburn): 🌊 A fast, twisty slide surrounded by natural rock, because nothing says “summer legend” like launching into the water with style. 🪨 Jumping rocks for the big kids, and a starter rock for the little ones working their way up to Olympic cannonball status. 💧A 9-foot deep end, great for cannonballs, big kid jumps, or dramatically floating away from your responsibilities. 🛀 A cozy spa for soaking, warming up, or pretending you’re in a luxury commercial. 🌞 Loungers + tanning ledge so you can either sizzle in the sun or chill with your feet in the shallow end like royalty. 🌳 Surrounded by trees and nature, so your photos can say “private oasis” instead of “my neighbor Larry’s fence.” Whether it’s a birthday bash, a family hangout, or an excuse to avoid yard work, you’ll find good vibes, great water, and even better memories here. 🚽 Indoor Restroom Rules Yes, you read that right, you’ve got access to the indoor bathroom! It’s inside the house, climate-controlled, and proudly stocked with Costco’s finest: Kirkland Signature toilet paper (only the best for our guests). But before you go charging in like a water buffalo, here’s the deal: 🧼 Towel off first – Please be completely dry before entering the house. Floors are slippery when wet (and our insurance deductible is huge). 👣 Knock on the backdoor – We will secure our dogs and let you in. 🚫 No pool gear inside – Leave your floaties, goggles, and wet towels outside. Treat it like you’re visiting your grandma’s house, but if your grandma bought TP in bulk and had great taste in bathroom hospitality. ⚠️ Warning: If you enjoy blissfully pretending public pools are clean, STOP READING NOW. This message contains facts that may forever ruin your ability to swim without existential dread. “If It Smells Like Chlorine… It’s No…

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